Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
