At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
third nipple confirmed
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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