i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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