We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We have started to decorate penises.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
