Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
only if we run a train.
done.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
