I feel like abortions should bother me more
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
