I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
