This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize