i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
