I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
