If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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