why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
