I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
