I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
