so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
i out mim tonsoeep
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