Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
