omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the day after is always just damage control
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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