Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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