my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
