I want to stick my p in your. b.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
