i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
