two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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