therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
