I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
