glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
