Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize