I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
