Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
