My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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