it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize