I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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