I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
