That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
