I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
