Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My life is pants optional.
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