I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You're like the curious george of whores
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
