Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
