I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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