You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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