bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
