she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
