He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
