Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
