Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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