Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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