In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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