i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
