I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
