ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize