I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
