hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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