All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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