did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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