its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
