Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
