just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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