its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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