We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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