I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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