She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize