that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
