i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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