SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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