We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
