He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
