every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
