O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
