Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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