Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
