Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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