i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Randomize
