He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
