That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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