I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize